BitterSweet Love
| Dawn Crosby |
Well one night I was at a local high school basketball game,
and my friend Wayne walked in. With him was a guy I had never seen before, but I liked
what I saw. His name was Kirk. And I knew right there that I was in love. I never believed
in love at first sight until this night. He had the most incredible feeling on me. Well
one night my friend and I was at my house, and we were so bored with nothing to do, so I
beeped Wayne, and Kirk was with him. I was so happy. Well they came and got us and we all
went out. Well it turned out my friend liked Kirk. I didn't say anything to her about me
liking him, because I always keep things like that to myself. (Big Mistake!)
Well they started going out, and he fell so deeply in love with her, and he and I became
best friends. And it hurt so bad seeing them together, but I never had the nerve to just
come out and tell him that I was in love with him. He and I was inseparable, we were so
close. He knew my whole life. I cried to him about all my problems, until one day she
broke up with him, and told him she didn't have the feelings for him that she thought she
did. Every weekend he would cry to me about her, and I would want to cry just because I
wanted him to know how I feel, but I just couldn't show my true feelings for him since we
were such good friends, and I knew he didn't feel anything for me, so I was also worried
about losing him as a great friend.
One night he and I went out together and I was crying all night, saying how I wanted to
commit suicide, and it was really scaring him, not to mention myself. I mean, I was crying
about everything, and at the time I just thought I would be better dead. That night we
both had a little to much to drink, and I leaned over to him and we kissed. And it felt so
right.
He brought me home and I started crying again thinking to myself I just kissed the love of
my life, also my best friend, and what if he doesn't like me, we'll never be friends
again, he'll never talk to me etc..
The next day I just sat at home worrying about the night before when we kissed. He came
over that night to see how I was doing, and I was sitting outside watching the stars, and
he came up behind me and starting holding me, and it felt so good, but I was so nervous.
We went on seeing each other for a week or so then he asked me out. I thought I was the
happiest girl in the world. We were so perfect. We had the greatest relationship. It was
awesome.
About 4 monthes pass by and we were all at Wayne's one night, and Brad (one of our
friends) was over there and there were two girls there from N. Louisiana with him. One was
Brad's girlfriend, the other one was her friend that came with her. Kirk ignored me the
whole night and was flirting with this girl. I didn't think anything of it, until a month
later, Kirk said he was going to Florida with his sister, and it turned out he was in N.
La. with those girls.
When I found out I was at my friend's house, and I went crazy. This time I did try
committing suicide, and my great friend Jim stopped me. I was so depressed, so lost, so
confused, I just couldn't picture living without him. It was killing me. Well he returned
and said he couldn't be with me anymore, and all that other crap just to put me off. But
from the night he got back is where I made the biggest mistake of my life, I was with him
that night and from 6 months after that night, but we had no kind of commitment so
therefore he did everything he wanted including girls, and it was killing me inside. But
of course being so in love with him I just couldn't let him go, so I stayed with him
getting my heart broken every day more and more for 6 months straight.
Finally Valentine's Day comes and he asked me back out. Of course I said yes, and what is
so crazy about this story is that he's still in love with my best friend that I hooked him
up with before me and him, and he just won't let go of her. He still calls her, thinks
about her, talks about her, but he swears he loves me and only me and we're going to be
together forever but I know deep inside even though he's with me, his heart and mind is
with someone else. We've been together for almost 2 years, that meant they've been broken
up for 2 years and I just don't know what to do. It hurts so bad, and I'm so confused, but
I don't think I could live without him, so I guess I'll continue suffering this pain every
day of my life.
to everyone who has been walked all over. |
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